Stuck in 9:08 AM
September 27, 2004 Monday 7:47 PM
It’s only been more than one day only since the last text I got from my painapple. More of the last of anything I ever heard from her. Time stopped since yesterday, 9:08 AM. And every minute eats me up like cancer. Time slowly kills as I’m trying to kill time. I wonder if she’s ok. Is she feeling as lost as I am.? Is she thinking of me as I am always thinking of her? She never said goodbye though. But it feels like it. Why does she have to be so afraid of her dad? Why does she have to hide and run away again after letting all her fears out at home? Why does she have to just somewhat, somehow just throw a good thing away? A thousand and more why’s to God. I don’t even know how I survived the whole day. I still text her the same as usual. The same goodmornings, reminding her not to skip lunch and dinner, that I’m home already, permissions for going out, wishing her day well, same old goodnights, and same old I miss you’s and I love you’s that I wouldn’t let a day pass without letting her know that, even though I know that she won’t even read them. It’s like talking to a person in a coma. I have no idea how she is. An iron curtain fell. I don’t know if her dad got her cellphone or she just decided not to use it to avoid troubles at home. I can’t call her at home. I don’t even know what’s happening to her even through updates in online accounts. Nada, Zit, Nil, Zilch, Naught, Zero, None, Nothing…as such, I am reduced to. I need to go out for a drink tonight. I'm praying that she's just alright. And to my painapple, if you are reading this, i want you to know that i miss you, and i love you. I'm still here, i ain't going nowhere.
It’s only been more than one day only since the last text I got from my painapple. More of the last of anything I ever heard from her. Time stopped since yesterday, 9:08 AM. And every minute eats me up like cancer. Time slowly kills as I’m trying to kill time. I wonder if she’s ok. Is she feeling as lost as I am.? Is she thinking of me as I am always thinking of her? She never said goodbye though. But it feels like it. Why does she have to be so afraid of her dad? Why does she have to hide and run away again after letting all her fears out at home? Why does she have to just somewhat, somehow just throw a good thing away? A thousand and more why’s to God. I don’t even know how I survived the whole day. I still text her the same as usual. The same goodmornings, reminding her not to skip lunch and dinner, that I’m home already, permissions for going out, wishing her day well, same old goodnights, and same old I miss you’s and I love you’s that I wouldn’t let a day pass without letting her know that, even though I know that she won’t even read them. It’s like talking to a person in a coma. I have no idea how she is. An iron curtain fell. I don’t know if her dad got her cellphone or she just decided not to use it to avoid troubles at home. I can’t call her at home. I don’t even know what’s happening to her even through updates in online accounts. Nada, Zit, Nil, Zilch, Naught, Zero, None, Nothing…as such, I am reduced to. I need to go out for a drink tonight. I'm praying that she's just alright. And to my painapple, if you are reading this, i want you to know that i miss you, and i love you. I'm still here, i ain't going nowhere.
posted by jeezus krieste at 5:13 AM
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